random thoughts.

got some thoughts in my head but can't get 'em down. Gonna settle for lyrics from my new favorite CD (Riot! by paramore)... just amazing words that are hitting hard with me these days.
(for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic)
I never wanted to say this
You never wanted to stay
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
You threw it away
I'm not so naïve
My sorry eyes can see
The way you fight shy
Of almost everything
Well, if you give up
You'll get what you deserve...

Why don't you stand up, be a man about it?
Fight with your bare hands about it now.

(hallelujah)
Somehow everything's gonna fall
Right into place
If we only had a way
To make it all
Fall faster everyday

I wish I understood why people settle for a life that they aren't happy in -- with a person that makes them miserable. I wish that I understood why people don't value themselves anymore. I'd rather live my life alone, unmarried, than settle for someone who isn't the right one for me. I believe in soul mates, and I believe that there's one person out there that was concieved, created and made specifically for me. And if I don't find that person, then it wasn't meant to happen. I'd rather fill my life with my students, my animals, and all of those other things that bring happiness to my life than settle for the wrong guy and be miserable. I'd rather hurt and be in pain than be stuck in a marriage or relationship that makes me unhappy. I hate complacency -- when people get too satisfied with their lives and they just figure, well, this is it. Guess what, it's not. Complacency is akin to boredom. We were put on this earth to be extraordinary. We've been given the tools to be as such. I can't stand complacency. We should be reaching, all the time, to get out of our comfort zone and be better than we are.

also from Natalie Grant... this song when I first heard it, seriously brought tears to my eyes. it's called "Held".
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lillies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.This is what it is to be loved.And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
We'd be held....

This is what it is to be loved.
And to know, that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held.
This is what it means to be held.