Oh.. goodbye 20s... and hello... 30s??

This is it... the end of my 20s. It sure has been a fun ride!

The passage of time is a weird thing, decade to decade. The last time I turned and made this transition it was from 19 to 20... teens to "not"... now its twenties to thirties...

In my 20s, I moved four times (to Auburn, back to Phenix City, to Arizona, back to Phenix City), changed homes five times (Auburn, PC, Arizona, PC and my own home). I graduated from college, twice. I fell in love, fell out of love, met the love of my life and got engaged.

I've been a "mom" to three furry children - Hunter, Murphy & Dodger, a "mom" to my students, too many to count or name, but each precious in their own right. I've experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. My last two years of undergrad, all four years of graduate school. Starting my career teaching at Veritas... leaving Veritas and starting Trinity. Figuring out "me"... walking in step with Christ...

I've met some amazing people in my 20s... people who have become family to me... I wish I could name them but I would wind up forgetting someone and then I would feel guilty because I forgot them. I've traveled all over the United States - from New York to California, Florida, South Carolina, Montana, Arizona, and driving across the US - Texas, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama... I've gone to Mexico, to England and Ireland and spent time walking where the great writers of Britain walked.

I've lost people that I cared deeply about, not to death but to the passage of time and distance and figuring out about toxic people and me. I think I learned how to really pray. To *not* pray for patience because God gives you trials to make you patient. To accept that things didn't happen in my time, but in God's time. I figured out it was okay to be angry with God, and to yell at him when I didn't understand. He's the big guy... He can handle it.

I watched a student come to know Christ. I danced, and laughed, and loved, and prayed. I stopped attending my "home" church, and finally after 8 years, found a new church home. I found my courage, my strength and my backbone.

I've been on two mission trips; one for a summer and one for a week. I learned how to stand up for me, to voice my opinion when its necessary and right. I learned that the right person or people won't leave. I know how to run a cash register, and write a short story. I can't remember everything I've done or said or been through.

I know I've hurt people. Sometimes I meant to... sometimes not. Sometimes it was the result of immaturity and a complete lack of understanding of what or how to do this thing called life. I regret that. I've made some really bad decisions about who to allow in my life. I was stolen from. I still don't like confrontation and I get really irritated easily. I became allergic to everything it seems like -- dust, dog hair, cat hair, birch trees, grass, and my skin cells. I had asthma. I went to the ER a few times.

So many memories. So much... life. How can you cram 10 years into a single blog post? You can't. But I know its been a fun ride. I'm having trouble embracing this whole "30" thing... I can't even say it without grimacing a little. But, I'm sure that the next 10 years will be just as much fun - and probably more - than my 20s were...

I am restless. I have itchy feet (not to be confused with cold feet) that crave to travel and wander about this earth. I miss the Grand Canyon tremendously, although, I don't understand why. Maybe it is the slower pace of life, the simplicity of the Earth combined with the immediate hustle of travel and tourist. I miss its quiet beauty, the splendor and richness of the colors of the soil and dirt. I miss doing something different, something that matters in a way that is unlike anything else. I miss the people, the friendly, but wary natives, co-workers who have come to the canyon to escape. I miss the darkness, the stars. I've never seen night like that. So expansive. So tremendous. It swallows you whole. I miss the heat, the humidity, the sleet and the snow. Who would have thought it could snow in the desert? I long to go back, to visit its edges, to stand in its grandeur, to see where the Green and Colorado rivers merge, to bask in the wondrous beauty of living, breathing earth.

This picture was taken on Saturday, November 5 at Callaway Gardens. It almost breaks my heart in its quiet, simple beauty, in the contentment I can see in the expressions... its like a moment, frozen in time. This is what love looks like.

Engagement Story

Well, Charlie and I are engaged! I'm so excited to be (finally) planning our wedding! Charlie proposed on Sunday, September 5 and we've set the date for January 28, 2012! Just a short FOUR months away! YIKES!!

So it went like this...

We had decided to go up to Callaway Gardens for the Hot Air Balloon Festival. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate and so there weren't any balloons, but we had decided to go visit the Cason Chapel and the Discovery Center, because we were thinking about having our (hypothetical) ceremony & reception there. Jenny & Ricky Strickland, our friends, came with us. We had a nice lunch at the Mountain Creek Inn Restaurant and set off for the Chapel a short while later.

When we got to the chapel, there was an organ concert in progress. We all sat on the back row and eventually, well, I had to pee. (Side note: I drank like 5 glasses of water during lunch and my bladder is the size of a pea...). I whispered this to Charlie, and he was thinking oh crap, I've got to do this quick, fast, and in a hurry because to leave to let me potty & come back would have been awkward. So, he gets up and goes over to the organist and asks her if its okay (while she's taking a break) that he propose to his girlfriend.

Then, he calls me up on the stage to "take a picture"

This is our "before" pic...

Then, he turned me to him and kissed me, and said something about how he loved me and that he was so glad God brought us together (I really don't remember what he said...) and then, he got down on one knee, pulled out this truly gorgeous, perfect ring and asked me to marry him!

"Will you marry me?"

This is where he is attempting to put the ring on my middle finger, instead of my ring finger... :)

So happy! (Notice, I'm checking out my finger... while he's saying "yes! I got the girl!"

One of our "after" pictures!

I'm really excited about our big day! You can find out information & details on our wedding web page (Charlie thinks its dorky, but I don't care!) at: Charles & Brooke

See? This is our "before" shot....

I am really missing the Grand Canyon tonight. Something in its quietness and unsurpassing beauty... the stillness of the air calls to me tonight. The canyon was always a place to slow down and to be still. It's where I could see the hand of God in the creation laid out before me, in the people to come to my register and the coworkers who would become family. Being still, listening to the quiet. Sometimes, I forget that stillness, that slowness of pace.

I feel as if from the moment my feet hit the floor, I'm on the go, always moving, always thinking, always doing. Never just simply being. I forget to just simply be Brooke. Life moves at such a fast pace - at least in my world. There is a great difference in 12 kids and 17. It's just simply more. I don't know how principals of large schools do it - how they remain in the students lives but still able to do their jobs at the same time. This is my worry. I can feel myself distancing from the students, because I can't do both jobs - teacher and administrator - 100%. And that's unfair. But its a fast pace, all the time.

I long for the stillness of the canyon, the quiet evenings with stars that explode out of the sky. I long for the air, the smell, the pace of it all.

I am immensely frustrated today with the level of my students work. They clearly didn't study for their vocabulary & spelling quiz, nor for their word of the day quiz (6 words, mind you) and some of them didn't study for their scripture test. Then, they have either an essay or an ABC book due and all I get are excuses... they had more than 3 weeks notice...

I guess it's just been one of those weeks. Sometimes I feel like I am beating my head against the wall over and over again.

God's Purpose for Women - Essay #3

God’s Purpose for Women
What is God’s purpose for women and why were the chosen ones, chosen? God created woman to act as a supporter, a strong counterpart, and source of power for her husband. In the Old Testament, He chose four women to be the strongholds of the Hebrew lineage. These women had a purpose and it was through the struggle of infertility that bound them together in their darkest struggle. The fulfillment of their purpose in Gods time brought both joy and triumph to their existence. Each had a tragic flaw that created unnecessary pain and torment to their lives. Sarah doubted God, Rebekah took on a role that she should not be in, Rachel was wildly jealous and Hannah did not trust her husbands’ love. Through their lives, we are able to discover the depths of their sacrifice, the honesty of their choices and the flaws that made them imperfect women.
First, God created women for a purpose. When God created Adam from His image, God determined that he needed a partner. So the Lord “formed out of the earth all the wild beasts and all of the birds in the sky… but no fitting helper was found” (Genesis 2:18-20). Secondly, God created woman in His image. Genesis 1:27 says, “And God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” God formed Eve from Adam’s rib.
From that beginning, women’s role began as a helper and a partner to their husbands, equal but with different responsibilities and tasks. In fact, according to R. David Freedman in his article “Woman, a Power Equal to Man,” the word “helper” does not adequately demonstrate the meaning and depth of the translated word. Instead, the word, “ezer” means strength or power, not helper. This is because of the words association with God as an “ezer to human beings” (Freedman). There were two roots of this word; ‘-z-r’ and ‘g-z-r’. The pronunciation determines the meaning. Freedman says that the root meanings in the ancient Hebrew are to save, or rescue and to be strong. The word “ezer,” was mentioned twenty-one times in the Old Testament, usually in association with God. Most often, Freedman believes the word indicates power and strength. Based on the evidence, Genesis 2:18 therefore should be translated as “I will make a power [or strength] corresponding to man” (Freedman).
While the weaker vessel, woman was to be a partner to a man, to be his equal. Unfortunately, after the Fall (of man), the role of women began to slowly spiral downward beginning with Adam blaming Eve for his own sin. After Eve ate of the fruit, she gave it to her husband. He took it willingly. The blame should lay with both: Eve for disobeying God’s command and Adam for not having the strength of character to refuse his wife (Custis James).
When God questioned both Adam and Eve, Adam blamed God first, then Eve immediately for giving him the fruit. Genesis 3:12: “The man said, ‘The woman You put at my side – she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” This begins the downslide of the role of women from supporter, source of strength and power to one of submission, dominion, and inequality.
However, despite Eve’s legacy, four women fulfilled their roles as an equal to their husbands. They understood that they had value and worth within their relationship with God but also in their relationship with their husbands. Nevertheless, the relationship with God sustains them through their deepest and darkest trials.
These women, (Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Hannah) were chosen by God to fulfill a specific role. They were the mothers of the Matriarchs, the cornerstone of Jewish heritage. Individually their characteristics are many and diversified. Each one struggles with defeat, distraction, hopelessness, desperation, impatience, torment, sexual assault, and sacrifice. Collectively, they share much more, such as years of infertility, and the silence of God.
Each woman experienced a great love – Sarah and Abraham, Rebekah and Isaac, Rachel and Jacob, and Hannah and Elkanah. Regardless of their mistakes, it is clear that these men were devoted to their wives. They loved them, in spite of their biggest hurdle – the infertility that ravaged each one. The infertile womb was not what made these women so special; it was how each reacted to her plight.
Sarah and Abraham are the two most iconic figures in the Old Testament due to the covenant that God makes with Abraham: “Go forth from your native land and from your father’s house… I will make of you a great nation… for I will make you the father of a multitude of nations” (Genesis 12:1-2, 17:5). Sarah had already been subjected to sexual assault by Pharoah (Genesis 12:19) and was aware of her great responsibility to produce offspring for Abraham. Instead of having patience and trust in God’s plan, Sarah was defeated by her circumstances and distracted from her purpose by her inability to bear children. She became increasingly frantic and desperate as she took matters into her own hands by giving Hagar to Abraham to have sexual relations. She believed this would relieve her anxiousness but instead, increased it. Instead of turning the blame inward, Sarah lashed at Abraham who was weak in his own faith.
Sarah allowed her identity as a woman to be obscured by her desperate desire to give Abraham children. She stumbled in her faith and fell into the trap of listening to the voice of her culture. God was silent for Sarah. He only spoke to Abraham throughout this journey. She doubted God’s provision and laughed when she finally heard His promise to her: Sarah would conceive and birth a child. The child born to her was Isaac, the son of promise. He marked the fulfillment of God’s covenant with Abraham and the restoration of Sarah’s place within her family.
Abraham did not want his son, Isaac to choose a wife from the Caananites, so he sent a servant to his native land where the servant encountered Rebekah. She was a woman of great kindness and beauty and demonstrated that kindness when she encountered Abraham’s servant at the well. She offered him and the camels water and lodging for the night. This was the response the servant had been told to seek. After meeting with her family, the servant brought Rebekah to Abraham’s house. After meeting Isaac, the writer of Genesis tells us that she brought him comfort after his mother’s death and that Isaac loved her.
Rebekah was barren for twenty years, but there was little said about her infertility. The writer of Genesis does not give us an account of the twenty years, only that Isaac “pleaded with the Lord on behalf of his wife because she was barren; and the Lord responded to his plea, and his wife Rebekah conceived” (Genesis 25:21). Unlike Sarah, there is not much known about Rebekah. There was virtually nothing said about her from when she arrived in Canaan until twenty years had passed. She does not plead with God for children. She does not cry out in prayer or give her husband to another woman. We can assume that she felt shame or forgotten by God, but nothing that we read indicates this.
It was only after her conception of twins when a clearer picture of Rebekah emerged. As the twins fought in her womb, she sought counsel from the Lord about her children. He told her, “Two nations are in your womb, two separate peoples shall issue from your body; one people shall be mightier than the other, and the older shall serve the younger” (Genesis 25:23). Isaac was weak in his role as head of the family because he displayed his favoritism for Esau over Jacob. Genesis 25:28 says, “Now Isaac loved Esau because he had a taste for game, but Rebekah loved Jacob” (NASB). Isaac disobeyed God by determining that Esau would get the birthright. He fell victim to the desires of his flesh and did not trust God to provide for both his sons. This caused a domino effect in the family. Rebekah, took the role of spiritual leader, one she was not equipped to do. Jacob became a deceiver. There is alienation between the family members, pitting husband against wife, mother against son, father against son and brother against brother. None of this would have occurred if, beginning with Isaac, the family trusted God.
Rachel, daughter of Laban, was also beautiful. She loved Jacob and he loved her, enough to work seven years to have her as his wife. He was willing to work for her father for that amount of time, which showed his dedication to her. Rachel, like Sarah and Rebekah, was infertile. In addition, she was jealous of her rival and sister, Leah. Out of jealousy, Rachel gave her handmaid to Jacob. He conceived with her (and others), producing ten children. When Rachel finally conceived, it was after seven years of infertility. She gave birth to Joseph, Jacob’s favorite son.
As with the other women, we can only assume that in addition to her jealousy, Rachel felt disgrace, shame, maybe desperation and perhaps forgotten. God was, again, silent, as with Sarah and Rebekah. She was wildly jealous of her sister. Her inability to trust God and His provision caused pain in her life.
Finally, the great love that Hannah and Elkanah experience provided Hannah with knowledge that though the Lord had deliberately closed her womb, Elkanah’s love for her did not change. This knowledge came with a price. Hannah had difficulty trusting Elkanah’s love, due to his procreation of many children with Peninnah. The text implies Elkanah loved Hannah deeply. 1 Samuel 1:8 says “Hannah, why are you crying and why aren’t you eating? Why are you so sad? Am I not more devoted to you than ten sons?” Elkanah simply could not understand why Hannah was so desperate for a child. He could not understand why his love simply was not enough. Frankly, Elkanah was not able to understand Hannah’s desperation because he was a man. Hannah’s infertility was caused because her womb was closed deliberately. In her mind, she was the one who was unable to give Elkanah children. This produced feelings of inadequacy, bitterness, and depression perpetuated by the mocking and belittling treatment Hannah received from Peninnah and the constant reminder of Peninnah’s many children. Even though Elkanah loved Hannah deeply, she still felt forgotten by God.
Hannah had a job to do: produce a male heir so she would feel vindicated. Moreover, Hannah was a woman who had a fierce love for her God and wanted Him to vindicate himself to the naysayers around her. This love for God, demonstrated by her remarkably relentless faith and through her prayers to Him, shows the depth of her character. Even though God was silent, as with the other women, Hannah never gave up hope that she would have a son. It was her greatest desire. Instead of turning away from God, like Sarah and Rachel, Hannah turned to Him.
Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Hannah were created for a purpose; helpers and strong partners for their husbands, but also chosen to sustain and continue the Hebrew legacy; Abraham’s heritage. Their sons (Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Samuel) were some of the greatest men in the history of the Old Testament, matriarchs of the Jewish people. They were born only through tremendous trials and strife, victory and triumph over infertility and dissention. The four women provide examples of strength, pillars withstanding tests. They provide lessons for believers to learn from and follow. So many times, we forget to simply wait and trust God in His provision for our lives. As believers, but sinful beings, it is easy to succumb to the desires of the flesh to grow impatient and desperate, often feeling forgotten and lost. God listens, even when He is silent. These are teachings from the lives of Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Hannah. Their purpose was fulfilled. They struggled and fought. Each had flaws; none of them perfect. It is through their lives that we are able to use their inabilities and shortcomings to learn from and are able to see that God did not create women to be lesser beings than men, but rather given different tasks with tremendously different responsibilities.

Sacrificial Giving in the Old Testament - Essay #2

Sacrificial Giving in the Old Testament

In the Old Testament, there were five different kinds of sacrifices: burnt offerings, grain (or meal) offerings, peace offerings, sin offerings, and trespass offerings. In fact, Leviticus chapters 1 through 7 are dedicated completely to the ritual of sacrifice. One of the purposes of a sacrificial offering was to atone for sin, introduced by Adam and Eve in their disobedience to God. After Adam and Eve, the ritual of sacrifice performed was to account for and atone for the continued sins by the Israelites. In the examples of Cain and Abel, Abraham and Isaac, Hannah and Samuel, and Lot and his daughters, the sacrifice offered involved the most precious of possessions.

Briefly, the laws in Leviticus are that an object to sacrifice must be clean and without defect. In the case of a burnt offering, the object must burn completely on the altar. For a grain offering, “the offering must be of choice flour. They must pour oil on it and put frankincense on it…” (Leviticus 2:1). For peace offering, “the one who offers the herd animal—whether male or female—must present a flawless specimen before the Lord” (Leviticus 3:1). An offering made to atone for purification or sin should be a flawless animal, including a bull, a sheep, or a goat. Leviticus chapters 1 through 7 are very specific in regards to the ritual of the sacrifice and the importance of a clean, perfect, flawless model.

Sacrificing became standard practice among the Israelites. After Adam and Eve’s sin, God clothed them in animal skins (Genesis 3:21). This act of covering Adam and Eve with animal skins was the first ritual sacrifice. The assumption is that God provided the skins by killing the animals and then He demonstrated the steps and procedures for sacrifice. Later, God provided clear instructions (seen in Leviticus) for the ritualistic sacrifice.

The story of Cain and Abel follow the Fall of man, and it provides the first recorded example of a ritual sacrifice. Genesis 4:3-4 says, “In the course of time, Cain brought an offering to the Lord from the fruit of the soil, and Abel, for his part, brought the choicest of the firstlings of his flock.” The sacrificial object itself was the best of your offering, without defect, essentially perfect. After Cain submits his offering to God, the writer of Genesis says, “And the Lord had regard for Abel and for his offering; but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard” (Genesis 4:4-5). This was not because God favored Abel over Cain initially, but rather because the offering that Abel provided was from his “choicest of the firstlings of his flock.”Abel brought God the “best of the best” from what he had to offer.

This is the first example of God showing favor to one son over the other. Cain’s repercussions were the result of his own action whereas Abel’s offering was a genuine sacrifice of his choicest flock. He simply sacrificed more than Cain.

A true sacrifice involved giving up something loved in order to be obedient and follow God’s commandment. In the Old Testament, Abraham represented the ultimate model of this truth. In Genesis 22, God tested Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his son, Isaac, whom he loved. God said, “Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you” (Genesis 22:2). While Abraham was commanded by God to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac, it was his willingness to do so that symbolized Abraham’s obedience to God.

God made a covenant with Abraham stating that he would be the father of all nations. This pledge required obedience from Abraham and trust in God that He would keep His promises. God blessed Abraham for his willing sacrifice and in turn, spared Isaac by providing the ram for the burnt offering. Abraham was willing to sacrifice his most important possession – his child in order to be obedient to God’s command.

In another example of sacrificial giving, Hannah, the mother of Samuel, pleaded with God to open her womb and give her children. Before conceiving, Hannah commits her child to a lifetime of servitude to God. She makes a monumental decision to dedicate her son to the Lord and to have Eli, the priest, raise Samuel from the time he was weaned. This example demonstrates sacrificing what you love the most in a tremendous way. Not only did Hannah consciously give up her right to raise her son, but also she missed all of the precious “firsts” with her child. She had the opportunity to see him once a year and had to live with the fact that he was alive and living elsewhere, not in her care.

In this example, Hannah’s sacrifice was a genuine act of obedience – the fulfillment of her vow to God for providing her with a son. Hannah was rewarded because she followed through on her promise, instead of breaking it to keep what she loved the most. She was obedient, but also willing to give up her most precious part of her life.

Finally, in another prime example of sacrificing a cherished possession, Lot sacrifices his virgin daughters to protect the angels from harm. Hebrew daughters have a great value to their families – more than the physical bride price due to the moral value they have for their families. The sacrifice of Lot’s daughters in Genesis 19 was not an indication of how lowly daughters (women) were, but rather the opposite. This example of sacrifice shows us how important daughters. When faced with a choice, Lot gave his choicest.

This particular example has caused a spectacle over the proposed value of women, daughters in particular. In Genesis 19, Lot has a dilemma. Two messengers from God had come to Sodom seeking righteous men so God would not destroy the city. Instead, the men, young and old surrounded Lot’s house. They said, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out so we can have sex with them” (Genesis 19:5, NIV). The messengers had come under Lot’s roof and so he felt obligated to protect them under Hebrew law. He offered instead his virgin daughters: “Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof” (Gen. 19:8).

Some critics assume that women in Biblical Israel were not accepted or thought as highly of as men. While in some cases that may be true the reality is women had different roles, with different expectations. Lot did not despise his daughters, or consider them the lowest member of his household. In truth, these women were his choicest possession. Virgin daughters were worth more (200 maneh) (Adler, Greenstone and Adler) than daughters who had “committed a disgraceful act in Israel by prostituting herself in her father’s house” (Deut. 22:20). Based on the laws in Deuteronomy, Lot sacrificed his daughters to save the visitors from harm. He risked financial disgrace and his daughters’ lives. This was not because they were not important to him, but because Lot understood their value to the Hebrew culture.

Judging this event based on 21st century roles and regulations is misleading, because according to Jewish law and the Hebrew culture, Lot’s daughters belonged to him. Daughters were important. Without daughters, there would not be sons. They have a higher value than the financial asset that they bring with their marriage. This value goes deeper to the moral identity of the family itself. Lot simply chose to sacrifice his choicest and proudest possession.

In Leviticus, the Israelites have a clear understanding of the expectations concerning ritual sacrifices. These instructions, while permanently written into the book of Leviticus by Moses, were given to him by Gods command. This book of law helped to maintain the rules and regulations that the Israelites were expected to live by. The Israelites knew the importance of the ritual of sacrifice. They also understood the importance of the object sacrificed. More than anything, God asked the Israelites to be obedient to His commands and to give of what was most important to them.

I don't know why I'm always surprised when God provides wholly for Trinity. I just got finished paying our last payroll checks for this year (when I say "this year" I mean the 2010-2011 school year) and we cleared enough in our bank account to have about $30 left over. That's with the curriculum that I've already ordered. Why am I always so amazed that it works out? I know that I trust God to provide, because Trinity is His ministry, but it never ceases to amaze me that He always, always, always provides.

I suppose that constant wonder and amazement is a good thing, because I don't expect His goodness for my life... He is my father in Heaven but I'm a dirty, rotten, sinner... only by GRACE does He bless me and my life. I don't ever want to get complacent, where I'm NOT amazed by His provision. That to me is a far greater problem.

We're gearing up for a new year at Trinity... and we have 17 students. That's 70% increase from last year. I know God is moving and working in a way that I am just blessed to be a part of.

Poe.

I am beginning to hate Edgar Allan Poe.

No, seriously. I'm not a big Poe fan. I respect his talent, appreciate his ability to tell a really freaky story and scare the bejeebus out of someone, but seriously, asking me to write 3 paragraphs on Poe's ability to "create an intensely vivid situation," "management of dialogue," and "symbolism" is just about torture.

Hey students... if you ever wondered why we don't study Edgar Allan Poe its because he's a freaking wackjob nuto who took too much opium & married his cousin. Yeah. I said it.

Pretty sure I can't say *that* in my paper though. *Sigh.*

Hannah: From Triumph to Tribulation

* Author's note... I am not a Bible scholar. The following is an essay I wrote for an Old Testament Lit class. It is strictly my opinion & the opinion of others.

There are numerous examples of Biblical women who were barren for a season or more until the Lord opened their womb. According to Hebrew laws of Moses, infertility could be seen as a punishment for having an adulterous relationship or having incestuous relationships among family members (Numbers 5:20, Leviticus 20:20-21). However, neither of these situations was the case for why Hannah was barren. The depth of her pain – physically, emotionally and spiritually – is beyond compare. The implications of these Jewish customs and traditions, the importance of children and procreation, causes an unnecessary, but vital sense of failure, despair and pain that barren women ultimately feel due to their inability to produce. It is the desperate nature of Hannah’s pleas that lead to her ultimate euphoric joy at the conception of a son.

Being barren was shameful, an embarrassment to Hebrew women and believed to be the woman’s fault, through her disobedience to God. A barren woman was considered a curse, because according to Genesis 1:28 they were told to “be fruitful and multiply.” The Matriarchs of the Old Testament believed that without offspring, their lines would dissolve; their status and value among their families would decrease. As a result of this pressure, their barren wives were coping with feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, torment by the other wives in the family who were able to produce children and anguish. Hannah, the mother of Samuel, is no different.

As we have seen with Sarah, Rebekah and Rachel, the mothers of Isaac, Jacob and Joseph, children were regarded as a blessing (Psalm 127:3-4); a woman’s value was based on her ability to produce heirs. Rachel even likens motherhood to life itself in her impassioned plea of “give me children or else I will die!” (Gen. 30:1).
Hannah’s desperate cries and pleas (1 Samuel 1:10-11) were because of her deep desire to have children. She is so distressed that Eli, the priest, believes that she is drunk. For Hannah, all she wanted was to have a baby. The Lord had closed her womb (1 Samuel 1:5), not because of disobedience, or for punishment but for the fulfillment of His covenant with the Israelites.

Hannah was bold enough to believe that God would grant her desire for a son so much that she vowed to dedicate Him back to the Lord (Baldwin, 52). Hannah’s barrenness was not caused by a disobedience to God, but rather because her desire for a child was so strong that God brought her to the lowest point of her valley so that her faith would be strengthened and where she would depend the most on Him to fulfill her needs.

While Hannah waited on God to provide her with a son, Israel continued to fall into the trappings of their sin, heavy in disunity and disarray. There were civil wars that erupted between tribes and the priesthood was failing. Eli was an indulgent father who allowed his sons to be disobedient. The Philistines were growing stronger and threatening to take over the Israelites land. The people had rejected God and were demanding an earthly king (1 Samuel 8:4-7). Samuel’s birth marked the end of the time of Judges: Samuel was the last. Samuel was also the first of the prophets and the founder of the monarchy (Mears, 122).

Though God made a covenant with the Israelites, only He can fulfill those promises. He never intended for Israel to have any king but himself; the Israelites had grown restless. They wanted an earthly king, like the nations around them. In order for Israel to be stronger than the surrounding nations, the tribes had to come together under one king and become powerful. God fulfilled this promise by allowing Samuel to find a king for them, first in Saul, then David.

Hannah’s song is not only a song of thanksgiving and praise, but her humble way of showing her faith and belief that God would answer her prayer. She was a woman of modest beginnings with a desperate desire to have as son. During her months of infertility, she is tormented by other women around her who were able to conceive. The Lord closed her womb, so that she was forced to look to Him to give her the desires of her heart. In perhaps one of the most beautiful of exaltations, Hannah sings a song of joyful thanksgiving, giving praise to the Lord for sending her a son. It is here that we see her overjoyed spirit and belief in the Lord’s deliverance and power.

Hannah, in particular, was so desperate for a child that she made a vow and consecrated her unborn son back to the Lord, so that Samuel, the child, would be a servant leader for the people of Israel. She experienced the gauntlet of emotions; shame, humiliation, embarrassment, even ridicule and guilt for not being able to produce an heir for her husband. Israel cried out for someone tangible to guide them; God listened and gave Hannah her utmost wish. Hannah’s triumph comes when she completely surrenders her most precious desire and prays fervently to God for a child, adding to that passionate prayer a commitment of surrender -- her beloved child to a lifetime of service.

Alaska

Alaska Pictures...

~Alaska~

Alaska is in like 4 days! I'm super excited to be going on this mission trip, but also to grow closer to my students & see how God can work through us! What a tremendous opportunity we have!

Last Day!

Today is our last official day of school. I just want to breathe a sigh of relief at all of it - I mean, we did it. We survived, and not only did we survive, but we're growing - by leaps, in fact. We have 15 registered for next school year; two completely new students (meaning, not coming to us by way of Veritas), and I fully expect to have at least a few more by the end of the summer.

It's amazing to me what one step out in faith can do in your life. I have learned so incredibly much, about me and about my level of faith. Its one thing to say sure, I believe in God... I have faith in Him... I know He will take care of me, but when the opportunity presents itself to actually take a leap of faith - do you do it? Most people don't. They're content. There's something to be said for that contentment. The security of knowing that you will have a paycheck, the ability to pay your bills, live, etc. Then again...

There is something so empowering about signing your own paycheck. Knowing that the decisions are on you. Knowing that you are the vessel to put into place the vision that God gave you. Pretty flippin awesome.

Year one, in the books.

North to Alaska

In about 20 days, I will be heading off to Alaska for a week-long mission trip with four of my students and two other adults. The last time I actively went on a mission trip was the three-month long internship with ACMNP in the Grand Canyon. I'm so, so, SO excited to be going to Alaska!

Please pray for our Alaska Mission Team as we prepare for the trip and the hearts of the people there.

I spent some time looking at my old journal entries from the past year last night & this past week. Its terribly ironic that a year ago today I was telling my students at Veritas that I wouldn't be coming back to teach them. And with my decision that was made yesterday; its just so cool how God's timing is. Its been a very interesting year, a learning year. I know that God has His hand on Trinity ~ and that He is going to continue to bless this school and its students. Based on what I saw this morning with the students praying with and for each other, He is already moving in a mighty way. I know that He is going to increase our territory because we have been faithful to His will. I know that He will bless me because I have been faithful to His will for my life, even if it costs me. I know that I made the right decision, because I have God's ultimate peace, and I also know that He will continue to take care of me because I am His child.

This week meant a lot of reflection for me, a lot of prayer and thinking. I had a decision to make, and honestly, I was torn, but after a lot of prayer, a lot of seeking counsel, I made my choice & I have peace about it. I think its interesting that... nevermind.

When you arrive at a fork in the road, what do you do?

Trust simply in God - listening, desperately for His call?

Or, continue down the road you think is the right one, the best one. What do you do with the fork?

Do you take the "road less traveled" - the harder journey, or is it easy street?

Robert Frost ~ The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference.

I think about this poem a lot, especially when I am reflecting upon my life and the choices that I have made. I wonder what it would have been like - how different I would be. My dad says that my brother and I have a different drum beat that we walk to... that when the road is easy, we take the hard path... nothing that we do is simple or quick, but usually wrought with pot holes and detours.

I can certainly say my journey to teaching was that way, for sure. And I recognize that founding Trinity wasn't easy either; neither has this past year. It's impossible to say who or where I would be if I had chosen differently. I can think of 5 life-altering moments that changed the course of my life... (aside from accepting Christ, which goes without saying)

1) Staying at Brookstone when I almost failed out. If I had left, I would have not met Josh or Kenil, wouldn't have had the opportunity for their friendship otherwise, because our paths wouldn't have crossed.

2) Choosing Auburn over Alabama. I think this is self-explanatory... along with this decision came the choice to go from Elementary Education to Early Childhood, to Secondary and finally to English... along the way meeting some of my favorite people.

3) Applying for & not getting the 9th grade teaching job at Brookstone the summer after I graduated with my MEd, I interviewed for a position at Brookstone and, as the job had already been promised to another, returned to Veritas to start teaching English. If this fork had been different... Trinity wouldn't exist. My life would be different... I wouldn't know Kelsey, Jeffrey, Eliza, Christi, Ally, Kara, Stephen, Eric, Noah, Skyler, Ana, Brandon, Jacob or any of my former Veritas students - Miles, Susan, Katoree. Incidently, I would have known Jackson, Joel, Austin, Donald, WT etc, because I was their aide first.

4) Every relationship - and by relationship, I mean "boyfriend" - lead me to here.

5) Leaving Veritas at the end of last year to start the amusement park, or Trinity.

I think its so fascinating to look back at our decisions and recognize where we were and where we might have been. And, what's even more neat is to see how God used us in those situations.

God's Will & Robert Frost

There is so much that I am thinking about these days. It's so hard to know God's will for my life. I have prayed and listened and tried to be still, but how do you know when it is His will, or merely mine? I don't know. I can say that I knew the moment I decided to leave Veritas was His will because of the perfect peace that I had surrounding my decision. I knew that Trinity was a God thing because of the incredible students who are a part of the ministry and the other teachers whom are on board with me. I knew that making the choice to be with Charlie is God's will because he's the perfect combination of everything I've looked for, wanted, asked for and needed.

And yet... there are still decisions in my life that I have to make and I find myself torn. Listen to one side, one person's thoughts or listen to myself. Or more accurately, AND listen to myself. Its a difficult task for me, because while God has spoken to me directly in the past, most of the time, hearing Him... well, I just can't distinguish between knowing His voice and recognizing my own intertwined.

Logically, I know that God is going to provide, in everything, because He is everything. And He takes care of His children, just as he has every day this year, provided for and loved on me. I also know that whatever decisions I make, that He will be at the heart of it, because God is first in my life.

It reminds me of the Robert Frost poem... "two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by." We have roads we take, decisions, choices, paths... and I believe that God called me for a specific purpose. I believe that He called Trinity into existence, because there was/is something that needed to be done for His glory. I believe He uses us, gives us skills and knowledge that we wouldn't otherwise possess, but I also think that if we/I am afraid to take the chance, the leap, afraid to have the courage to walk through the open door, that the opportunity doesn't shrivel up and wither away, but that God will put someone else there to do His will, the job at hand, to stand firm against whatever satan might be preparing to throw their way.

It doesn't make knowing God's will for our lives any easier.

With Trinity, I took the road less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.

I apologize for my previous post (which has been deleted).

Spending per student

My dad asked me to find out how much money was spent per student in the Phenix City School System, Lee County School System, & Russell County School System and compare that to the tuition at Trinity...

Here is what I found:

In the Phenix City School District, according to reports from 2008-2009. There are 5,040 children in the Phenix City School District.

- the revenue for the PCSD was $60,356,289.18.

- the expenditure for the PCSD was $68,819,557.83

- According to the state website, 63% of that money came from the State, 20.2% from local taxes, 2.3% from the local schools, 12.4% from Federal, and 2.0% was designated as "other"

- the PCSD spent approximately $8,791.90 per child in 2007-2008 (only records provided).

In the Russell County School District, according to reports from 2008-2009. There are 3,717 children in the RCSD.

- the revenue for RCSD was $34,862,406.60

- the expenditure was $34,639,409.29 (seems like they did a lot better than PCSD as far as budgeting...)

- 67% came from the state, 17.0% from local taxes, 1.6% local schools, 11.1% federal & 3.4% "other"

- the RCSD spent approximately $9,221.16 per child.

I would do Lee County, but the only schools in Lee County that I'm concerned with are the Smiths Station Schools and I don't have specific data on them.

Okay, so going with that theory, that the school district is spending somewhere between $8700 and $9700 per child, and there are 30+ students in the classroom.

At Trinity, our revenue should be $45,000. However, I have 3 students on scholarship, which comes to $11,250, so our total revenue in Tuition is $33,750. Tuition money, by the way, is the only guaranteed source of income. $27,322.50 goes to pay the faculty members, leaving $6427.50 for everything else, including instructional costs, operational maintenance, transportation, etc, etc. Our yearly expenses should be somewhere in the neighborhood of $41,000. We're spending approximately $3,476.88 per student.

Thoughts?

Summer is coming...

So, on Friday it will be April.

April... are you serious? April? April is one month before school is over for the summer. April is the fourth month of the year - seriously, we're already four months through 2011? And school gets out in a month, basically... how is that even possible? It sounds so incredibly cliche to say that this year has flown by, but thats the only way to explain it - I feel like its been one big blur. I've tried to stop and write about the steps of this year, the growing pains, the highs and the lows but I know I've missed some and I hope that I can get those written down before I forget them completely and the future generations of Trinity students will be able to read about the first year at their school.

In my heart of hearts, I know that God is going to send us the students we need. I know this because there is a large part of me (about 90%) that is at peace with it. But. Its so hard to wrap the 10% of my head left that He will. I'm not doubting Him, or His ability to send us the 25 students that we so desperately need... but I feel as if I have hit a brick wall. I have this list of students, potential ones and also those who have already registered, and that list numbers about 30... but I know that there are a few kids who are set in where they are, or their parents are set in where they are. Which is okay... they were longshots, but I don't know where else to get students. I know that word of mouth is key. I know that I've advertised and talked and facebooked and twittered my heart out... and I've prayed. So much more than I've ever prayed consistently in my life - God expand mine & Trinity's territory so that we may further Your kingdom - I had hoped to have a solid number by the end of school, so that I could focus this summer on hiring faculty members, choosing curriculum and doing all those other things that I need to do as an administrator.

And, I'm worried. God, I know you're listening. I know you're reading this with me as I type it out - I'm worried, Father, that Trinity won't get the number of students we need and that I will have to find alternatives to the plan. I'm worried that I'm not doing enough to advance the school. I'm worried that I'm doing something wrong, that the school is doing something wrong or maybe not wrong exactly, but something's causing us to not be blessed as much as You would bless us. God, you know these things as they weigh on my heart. You know the plan and the future of Trinity even now, and I know that whatever Your will will be done.

Please pray with me. We really could use them right now.

Pray that God will provide Trinity with 25 to 40 students. So much is riding on that number.

~Brooke

Spring Break ... part deuce

Well, it's still spring break, and although the beaches of Orange Beach are not exactly overcrowded with spring breakers, its still plenty busy for the onset of tourist season. We've been coming here about 20 years or so, ever since the triplets were teeny tiny and so I feel like I've grown up here a little bit. :)

Mom and Dad arrived safely this morning and woke me to the smells of seafood bisque, smoked tuna dip & shrimp from Blalock's (YUM!).

Mom and I hit the beach for a little reading and relaxation while Dad went off to fish on the pier... he didn't catch anything, but claimed the spanish were running... we shall see, Mikey!

Dinner was in with leftover bisque & tuna dip...

There is no place in the world where I feel more relaxed than standing on the pier, with a fishing pole in hand... my idea of heaven!

Spring Break

It's spring break... finally! I'm so glad I got to spend the weekend with Charlie & also that Charlie's brother, Trey, got to come with us. Tomorrow Mom & Dad are coming down to spend a few days... man, I really know how to throw down!! But I'm grateful that I have a place where I can go to and rest for a few days.

this man makes me happy. :)

Today, I'm simply grateful for life.

So, for the past 10 years or so I've been writing short stories. I think most of them are pretty terrible but thats because I'm the one who wrote them. But I finally put them together in a volume of work - along with essays, commentaries, and long epic poems and came out with The Wicker Swing. I think there's supposed to be a preview in here somewhere...

The Wicker Swing by J. Brooke Bowden | Make Your Own Book

">The Wicker Swing

So in this book are a few different short stories - The Wicker Swing, The Red Tomato, Hard Work, In spite of Love but also a few essays to. Its basically everything I've ever written.

Anyway. Its pretty darn cool - and even better in my actual hands. I ordered it in an "imagewrap" which only means that there isn't flaps like on usual hard-bound books. I have to say... its really flipping neat. I took the picture for the front and back cover too, in Oxford. I think we were at Penshurst place walking among the gardens when I came upon this door in the wall. It reminded me *so* much of A Secret Garden that I had to photograph it. It remains one of my favorite photographs period.

cried myself to sleep last night.

My best friend's father passed away this morning. It just makes you appreciate the people you love, and realize how short life is, and how you don't want to have any regrets in this life, because regrets linger, like cigarette smoke. My heart is heavy for her family and the many people who will miss her father. It makes me thankful for my own dad - and mom and siblings. Charlie. My friends. Even though I don't understand everything about this life, I do realize how short it really is. I mean, you only get one life, right? And so many people are held back by their fears - they're afraid to love, afraid to hurt, afraid to step out in faith, afraid to do anything different, be anything, move forward, whatever else...

I don't know. I'm just rambling tonight.

This morning five adults and nine teenage students met for more than an hour in prayer. What took place is something indescribable… it was a Facing the Giants moment… it was the start of a revival… it was God showing up, and showing out. He spoke through the students who prayed; He spoke through the adults. Having the opportunity to pray over each one of my students was the most special moment that I have experienced in my life. I don’t know what I said – but I know God spoke through me over each of them.

Something happened this morning… something that has been brewing for a long, long time. For a long time, I’ve felt like there is a spirit of revival among the teenagers in this city. They cry out and pray for a change – and its starts with one kid, one pebble affecting change. Revival is coming; there are teenagers who are crying out to Jesus to save them, to strengthen them, to give them courage. It’s something that I’ve experienced only one other time – in the summer of 2001 at Evangel Temple with the Alpha Chi Youth Group. It’s their time, their generation. What is beyond cool is that I get to be a part of it. I absolutely believe that revival is coming; and it started at Trinity this morning with these nine kids and five adults. They are going to take back their city, their country, their world and bring the blessed name of Jesus to the ends of the Earth.

I went to see the Grace Card tonight – yet another powerful message from God, how He has orchestrated all of these things to come together today… The first was Emily Pettitt came to me and asked me to start reading The Prayer of Jabez, and to begin praying it… “God that you would bless me and increase my territory, so that no harm will come to me. And God gave him his request.” The second was that my students began to experience tremendous spiritual warfare. This tells me that we are moving in the right direction because there is NOTHING that makes Satan more angry than a Christian who is bringing MORE Christians to know Christ. Attack me, bring me down, use my insecurities – but stop messing with my students. And so I started praying protection over my students at night, in the morning… I thought, if they were being attacked, then we must be doing something right. But, to stop the spiritual warfare, we chose to combat it with prayer and so we gathered this morning in the conference room. The third thing was that Pam Smith read Acts 2 to Eliza and Ally, where Peter is preaching and the numbers were added to the kingdom in great numbers – 3,000 in fact. God spoke to Eliza and told her that our numbers would not increase until we began to pray with each other. So simple, and yet, so incredibly powerful. Fourth, happened this morning, when we gathered together and prayed. I can’t explain what happened – but something did. All I can do is describe it, and recognize what it was: God.

The Trinity School is a ministry. It’s a vessel to spread the message of Christ’s love. I believe that vessel was created and started back in the summer of 2001 when I received my message from God. The story goes like this – I had a dream, where God called me on my cell phone – literally, the caller ID read out “GOD”. He said to me, “Hello Brooke, It’s me, God. I just wanted to know if you had any questions for me.” Me: “well, I do, but I can’t think of any right now.” God: “Well, if you think of any, you know where to find Me.” Me: Okay. God: I just wanted to tell you that you will do great things in My name. And then He hung up. It was so surreal, but I remember it like it was yesterday – now going on ten years ago. Trinity began then, when God called me to do “great things for Him.”

Wow. Talk about amazing, right? Something happened this morning, with these students and the adults, who came together for one specific purpose.

I’m going to close –as best I can –with some lyrics…

“you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave”
-TobyMac, “City on our Knees”
And this one, which has been on my heart all day…
“Revival fire, fall, Revival fire, fall;
Fall on us here with the power of Your Spirit,
Father, let revival fire fall.
Revival fire, fall, Revival fire, fall;
Let the flame consume us
With hearts ablaze for Jesus,
Father, let revival fire fall.

As we lift up Your name,
Let Your kingdom come.
Have Your way in this place,
Let Your will be done,
Pour out from Heaven
Your passion and presence,
Bring down Your burning desire.”

-Paul Baloche, “Revival Fire Fall”

Teacher of the Year

Okay, so I'm going to try to be *really* positive and not dog this chick out, but I just gotta vent for like .5 seconds...

There is a nominee for the teacher of the year who I absolutely think is the worst teacher. Yes, I've had her. Yes, she made me miserable. Yes, this was after I was in high school - I was in graduate school. She was my cooperating teacher for my very first practicum. And in the interest of knowing that people actually read this thing, I'm not going to mention who, or where, or when this occurred, but I will say that this woman made me question teaching because she literally chewed me out on paper, behind my back, to my professor and on my evaluation sheet. She told me that I had no classroom presence, that I needed to CHANGE my major, that I had NO business being in the classroom. To my face it was all "oh, you're doing great" and "really nice job today" and then when I went in for my final eval with my professor she wrote on both sides of the paper with complaints about my teaching - or, in her words, lack thereof.

I saw her recently, at the bookstore, actually - two days in a row - and a part of me literally quivered. I ducked my head, because I did NOT want to make eye contact with her and for her to recognize me.

And for what? She thinks she has the secret to education? To teaching these impressionable youth? Well, I have just as much education as she does. And as far as I'm concerned, she will never be considered "teacher of the year" in my book. Ever.

And yes, I'm bitter.

*By the way. I didn't write this to get attention or credit for Trinity and the job I'm doing there. I really just needed to vent a bit. OH and I can definently say that she did NOT contribute to my education or my success, however small, in the classroom.

Sanctus Real: Lead Me

"...I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this out home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"

For the past, oh, about 7 months or so, this song has been my "personal" song, representing two aspects of my life. The first part of the song is my ringtone for Charlie, because I think it epitomizes what I want in a relationship - "stand up, when I can't, don't leave me, hungry for love, chasing dreams, but what about us? Show me, you're willing to fight, that I'm still, the love of your life..." But it's the last half of the song (lyrics above) that I am slowly realizing as my mantra for Trinity and the school that I have found myself to be in charge of. Its a daunting and terrifying task - these children put so much faith in me, as their teacher, to do what's right by them. The only way that I can do that is through God the Father, leading me, showing me the right way... because the truth is that I don't have experience in being an administrator. I have teaching experience, and a masters degree, but nothing that would adequately prepare me for this phase of my life.... Oh Father, give me the strength, to be everything I'm called to be... This is what my prayer has been most... please Lord, give me the strength to do this task You have asked of me.

I am their leader, their director, the person with whom they trust their education... I'm also their friend, their confidant, their disciplinarian. To some, I'm the closest thing to a mom, to others, a sister, even more, their friend. The leaders in education say that you aren't supposed to get that close to your students, you aren't supposed to have a relationship with them beyond teacher and student. I've found that there is great joy in watching these students grow and learn, mature. Some I've seen through three years, and by the time they graduate, I will have been their teacher for five years. That gives me a tremendous capability to strengthen them individually, because I know in which areas they struggle. We are able to grow closer as brothers and sisters in Christ because there isn't a process of adjustment. How lucky am I that I'm able to share that with them?

As my year at Trinity draws to a close - who can believe that? - my prayer remains:

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

Calling Prayer Warriors

Prayer Warriors:

Please be in prayer for The Trinity School. We are in our first year and have a current enrollment of 12 (wonderful, fantastic and amazing students). If you don't know, Trinity is a non-traditional, co-educational, private Christian school. We strive to strengthen Christian leaders through education. It is my goal and mission to be a vessel for Christ, to proclaim and spread His love through my students and for those students to spread the gospel to all that they reach. In order to continue to do this, our enrollment numbers need to increase... specifically, we are praying for 25 to 40 students. As the administrator, I would love to have more, but would probably pull my hair out - but I know if its God's will to send us more, He will give me the ability to handle it.

Please add us to your prayer lists - at church, at home, etc. We desperately need to increase our enrollment numbers and remember, we are praying SPECIFICALLY for 25 to 40 students (both returning students & new students).

I pray that you will recommend our school to those who you may know who are interested in a different kind of education for their children; we teach life, not just academics, and we're a family.

Trinity is a special place, with some truly special kids. Please join us in praying for the next school year, and the future of our school, and our students.

For information, you can contact me, go to our website at http://thetrinityschool.net/, or give me a call at 334-468-8756. I thank you in advance for your support and prayers.

~Brooke

Toomers Trees

I've waited awhile after the initial outcry over the tragedy at Toomers Corner before commenting or posting anything. So much of my Auburn life centers around Toomers Corner, the trees themselves & of course, the iconic tradition of rolling the corner after victories that I needed time to process my own thoughts before committing them into the blogosphere.

Unlike most Auburn fans, I didn't roll Toomers Corner until after I became a student. My dad was the type to "get in and get out" of the football games. The earliest memories I have of Toomers dates back to that fateful day in the summer of 1999, when Margaret, Mom and I went on our first "official" visit to campus. In the process of choosing colleges, we had visited the University of Tennessee, Vanderbilt, the University of Alabama, the University of Montevallo and, Auburn. I was born and raised an Auburn fan - for as long as I can remember, I have been going to Auburn football games. Most of my Saturdays when I was a kid were spent hearing my parents chanting "Go Bo Go" over and over again. Bo Jackson. Iconic great of Auburn football.

My dad and I would go over to the games, coming in right before kickoff and, usually, leaving a few minutes before the game ended to avoid traffic on the way home. We didn't roll Toomers - but that's okay. My first experience with the tree was when I was 17.

Margaret, Mom and I were visiting the campus and the tour concluded with a stop under the canopy of shade. As the campus guide rambled on and on about the traditions of Toomers, I felt a slow shiver go up from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I just *knew* that this place, Auburn, was where I was going to spend the next four years of my life. I knew that in this place of tradition that spanned more years than I have been alive - longer than any person has been living.

The first time I rolled Toomers with the other thousands of fans was magical.. chaotic... crazy... and wonderful. All rolled into one. A man from the crowd struck up a cheer and in unison, we chanted together... "It's Great to Be an Auburn Tiger," "Bottagetta," and "Two Bits." When my sisters and brothers came to the homecoming game that year (2000), I took them to Toomers for their first time rolling the corner. It was the first time my dad had seen it rolled, too. I rolled Toomers every time we won for the four years I lived and went to Auburn.

The last time I rolled Toomers was for the Auburn/Georgia game in 2010. Charlie and I went, because he had never experienced Toomers Corner either. The tradition of rolling Toomers corner extended to my sisters and brothers, (Rebecca, '11, Brady '13, Brad UGA '13, Blake UGA '13) to sharing the tradition with them, now as they are college students at the same university that I attended.

The biggest thing that I think has come out of this is 1) the unity that has been shown from the ticked off Alabama fans, who represent the many outcrying against what the lunatic Harvey Updike did and 2) the spirit of the Auburn family. In trying to destroy an image of the school, 'ol Harvey ended up uniting the most spirited and fantastic of college rivalries. In my lifetime, I've never seen Auburn and Alabama fans more united than they are in this tragedy. And, it is a tragedy. I've seen (and heard) people say "its just a tree" and for them, maybe it is... but for the Auburn family, the trees at Toomers Corner were... ARE more than "just a tree." They're representative of so much more than that, and now, more than ever, the Toomers trees represent the Auburn spirit, the Auburn family.

Maybe the trees will survive. Maybe they won't. But nothing will destroy the Auburn family.

I love how God gives us pushes in the right direction without us even realizing it. My last post was about Evangel Temple, my first church family, and how I was pursuing membership at First Baptist, Valley. I haven't been to a church service at Evangel Temple in several years, more than five really. The last was before I lived in Arizona. Paul Thomas was one of the first people, outside my family, that I told where I was going and what I was to be doing. He was my Sunday school teacher then, and now, lead pastor at Evangel Temple.

However, Sunday night after a great service at Valley First, I heard through the grapevine that Joey Ellis was in town from India. Pastor Joey, and his wife Carla, were my children's pastors. I haven't seen them since they left Evangel Temple, shortly after I was no longer considered to be in "childrens church" but now, instead, Alpha Chi, or the youth group. They are in the States for a short time, traveling among various churches and visiting family. And so, I returned to Evangel Temple for one, last time. I was pleasantly surprised at how many faces I recognized - and that anyone had recognized me. But while a part of me will always consider ET "home" - I found myself weighing the differences and likes/dislikes between the two churches (Valley First and Evangel Temple). From the style of worship, to the ages of the members... it was different. That's definitely what I expected - Assemblies of God and Baptist are two different denominations. The people hadn't changed - every church has its problems and I'm not going to list ET's, but I guess suffice to say, the same issues that I felt when I was a teenager are still prevalent today.

I truly enjoyed hearing Pastor Joey and Mrs. Carla speak, seeing Paul Thomas & Kelly, Mrs. Karen.... there were more faces I recognized, but wasn't able to chat with them. I'm glad I went, but I'm ready to move on.

Leaving Evangel Temple

For most of my life, from birth to about the age of eighteen, I belonged and attended church at Evangel Temple in Columbus - wonderful place. The pastors there, as I was growing up, were wonderful. Some are still there, while others have gone on to other things. There are a few I remember well; from my younger days, Watson McKemie, associate pastor, is the only one left. Joey Ellis, my former children's pastor, now serves in Rajasthan (where even is that?). Jeff & Libby McFalls, my Youth pastor and his wife now serve at Medart Assembly of God. Probably the most influential man, at least to me, was Pastor Hal Stewart. He was the minister of music for the entirety of my life, directed my performance of The Victor in 1993, watched my growth from Rainbows, to Daisies and Prims through the STAR program (Susannah, Tabitha, Anna and Ruth). He had one request of me; that when I turned 18, I would come and sing for him and join the choir. Unfortunately, time got away from me and I was never able to do that. Pastor Hal passed away in 2002, after a massive heart attack. I still remember where I was when my mom told me that he had died... we were going out to this lady's house to look at a pair of beagles for the Triplets birthday. We were on the way back home, having picked up two pups, and I was cradling the black & white & tan pup. Mom said, "Brooke, Hal Stewart passed away this morning."

I was dumbfounded - in shock - this man, who I had thought would live forever, was gone. Hal Stewart, and the other men of Evangel Temple, had a profound influence on my life. Joey Ellis was my children's pastor - and ultimately was the one who led me to faith in Christ. Jeff McFalls, and the Alpha Chi youth group, were a part of the most formative years of my life. Some of my best memories from church involve the other members of my Alpha Chi group - Paul Fincher, Heath Jackson, Jose Roman, Thomas McBride. As a child, I didn't realize how big Evangel Temple was. I was content in my cocoon of the children's church, then youth. Unfortunately, I never got to experience Evangel Temple as a full-out adult. After I left for college, the new youth pastor (his name, unfortunately, escapes me) told all of us college-age students that we weren't allowed to come back to Alpha Chi. Please understand - I don't think that 19 and 20 year olds should be mixed in with 13 and 14 year olds, but at this time, Evangel Temple's college ministry was nonexistent; we had no where else to go because most of us had grown up in that church and felt weird going to "big church" as we called it. The adjustment was odd. When I did go to "big church" I usually found myself in the back row, with the boys from Carpenter's Way Ranch. (Seems my interest in helping boys from non-conventional pasts is a theme in my life).

I briefly attended Sunday School with Paul Thomas (now the lead pastor) in my parents Sunday school class up through 2005 when I left for my ministry internship with ACMNP. After I came back home, my parents had started attending Wynnbrook Baptist Church in Columbus, because of their youth program and my brothers and sisters had friends who went there. I've only been back to Evangel Temple once since then, a Sunday morning when it struck me how huge the church was and how small I felt inside it. Evangel Temple is where I was dedicated to the church (12.23.82) accepted Christ as my Savior (7 years old) and was baptized (10 years old). It's more to me than a church home - it's been my "home church" for twenty-nine years. It's like leaving a part of me behind when I finally take the step and join another church, leaving behind my Assembly of God heritage and the church I grew up in.

I suppose thats why I've taken so long to make the decision to join another church permanently. I attended Hilton Terrace for several years, consistently, grew in the Word and truly enjoyed the people, the smallness of it, and especially the pastor and his family. The Calhouns are like an extension of my own family, and I'm blessed to have them in my life in various ways. After Bro. Kevin left Hilton Terrace to take the interim position at Wynnbrook, I traveled back over there, where my family had continued to go. While Wynnbrook is a wonderful church, with some good people, it wasn't "home" for me. And so, I made the decision to strike out and find the place that God intended for me to be. Somewhere, in the back of my head, I thought that it would take awhile, and that it would be the church that I would raise my family in. Even then, I knew that I had no intentions of jumping from membership to membership of churches.

Enter in First Baptist Valley (or Valley First, depending on what mood I'm in to call it). This church is unlike any other Baptist church I've been in. First... they're about the most evangelical Baptists, which is something that I love because it reminds me so much of Evangel Temple. Second, I feel like family when I'm there. I think that's partly because of my relationship with Charlie and his affiliation with the church body, but in the eight months I've been going there, they have made me feel like family. I count the members as my friends. I feel comfortable going to church alone there - as in, when Charlie is unable to make it- which is a huge step for me. This from the girl who doesn't enter a room unless with someone, and makes her boyfriend come outside to get her from the parking lot before coming into the building.

I finally took the step of attending a membership class and going through the process of becoming a member, something I haven't had to do. At Evangel Temple, I was baptized and became a member through my parents membership at an early age. The idea of a membership class is foreign to me, though appreciated. It helped me to see the commitment I was making to the church, and their expectations from me. It's harder than I expected though, to leave my Evangel Temple membership behind (though truthfully, I doubt anyone at ET considers me a member anymore; its been so long since I darkened their door). I suppose thats because there's so many memories that I have - so much of my Christian life is wrapped up in the people that make up that church, and the beliefs. I've always accepted what I was told, naturally bought into the idea of Christ dying for me, of God giving up His only son, for my sins. This decision has always been mine to make.

My life is changing and Evangel Temple no longer feeds my needs, in my spiritual life, and hasn't for awhile now. Not because of the leadership, because I adore Paul Thomas and his wife, or because of the people in its attendance, but because my life has changed. The church is the body of Christ - Romans 12:3-5 says: For by grace given to me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us as one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. I'm sure that my interpretation isn't correct, but for today, what that means to me is that each of us (individual churches, regardless of denomination) make up the body of Christ - together - each member belongs to all the others. My Assembly of God heritage will not change simply because I am choosing to be fed by the Baptist church. Quite possibly, I will always consider myself an "Assembly of God girl". But, as I said, my life is different now than when I was eighteen; fourteen; ten... I have different needs and those needs require different nourishment. Nanny (Nell), who was one of the most deeply spiritual women I know, and whom I can't wait to greet when I get to Heaven, would ask me if I was being fed spiritually from the church I attended, regardless of where it was. The answer is yes, now, I am.