The passage of time is a weird thing, decade to decade. The last time I turned and made this transition it was from 19 to 20... teens to "not"... now its twenties to thirties...
In my 20s, I moved four times (to Auburn, back to Phenix City, to Arizona, back to Phenix City), changed homes five times (Auburn, PC, Arizona, PC and my own home). I graduated from college, twice. I fell in love, fell out of love, met the love of my life and got engaged.
I've been a "mom" to three furry children - Hunter, Murphy & Dodger, a "mom" to my students, too many to count or name, but each precious in their own right. I've experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. My last two years of undergrad, all four years of graduate school. Starting my career teaching at Veritas... leaving Veritas and starting Trinity. Figuring out "me"... walking in step with Christ...
I've met some amazing people in my 20s... people who have become family to me... I wish I could name them but I would wind up forgetting someone and then I would feel guilty because I forgot them. I've traveled all over the United States - from New York to California, Florida, South Carolina, Montana, Arizona, and driving across the US - Texas, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Tennessee, Alabama... I've gone to Mexico, to England and Ireland and spent time walking where the great writers of Britain walked.
I've lost people that I cared deeply about, not to death but to the passage of time and distance and figuring out about toxic people and me. I think I learned how to really pray. To *not* pray for patience because God gives you trials to make you patient. To accept that things didn't happen in my time, but in God's time. I figured out it was okay to be angry with God, and to yell at him when I didn't understand. He's the big guy... He can handle it.
I watched a student come to know Christ. I danced, and laughed, and loved, and prayed. I stopped attending my "home" church, and finally after 8 years, found a new church home. I found my courage, my strength and my backbone.
I've been on two mission trips; one for a summer and one for a week. I learned how to stand up for me, to voice my opinion when its necessary and right. I learned that the right person or people won't leave. I know how to run a cash register, and write a short story. I can't remember everything I've done or said or been through.
I know I've hurt people. Sometimes I meant to... sometimes not. Sometimes it was the result of immaturity and a complete lack of understanding of what or how to do this thing called life. I regret that. I've made some really bad decisions about who to allow in my life. I was stolen from. I still don't like confrontation and I get really irritated easily. I became allergic to everything it seems like -- dust, dog hair, cat hair, birch trees, grass, and my skin cells. I had asthma. I went to the ER a few times.
So many memories. So much... life. How can you cram 10 years into a single blog post? You can't. But I know its been a fun ride. I'm having trouble embracing this whole "30" thing... I can't even say it without grimacing a little. But, I'm sure that the next 10 years will be just as much fun - and probably more - than my 20s were...
No comments:
Post a Comment