Monday, October 5, 2009

Another Monday is upon us and I'm still overwhelmed... not as much as last week, though I'm not sure why. Something has to give with this masters program, because its kicking my tail. At this point I'm less certain that this is the route I want to go, and yet, at the same time, I know its what I want to do. There's a possibility of coming back to Auburn and being inside an actual classroom (as opposed to online)... maybe I'm one of those people who can't get it together online. I know I've got alot on my plate, though I'd never admit it to anyone and I'm suprised when anyone notices. Taking on more responsibility at work for the same amount of pay - I keep thinking that there will be some kind of reward... maybe not financially, but definintly morally? The boy situation is still up in the air - not really sure what's going on there but I know that he recognizes what all is on Brooke's shoulders - a fact which suprises me because he noticed. Not really sure why, but it does. I've added to his letter... contemplating whether or not to give it to him, as it opens up a part of me that somedays I'd rather left unsaid, but at the same time, I know thats the product of fear talking about I don't want to be that way.

Sam resurfaced briefly, which only induced more feelings of irrational anger & failure.

On top of that, my internet went out Saturday and won't be fixed for three days... which means that I'm stuck doing my assignment (due tonight) either at school, or the library or somewhere else...

... my head hurts.