Sanctus Real: Lead Me

"...I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this out home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone"

For the past, oh, about 7 months or so, this song has been my "personal" song, representing two aspects of my life. The first part of the song is my ringtone for Charlie, because I think it epitomizes what I want in a relationship - "stand up, when I can't, don't leave me, hungry for love, chasing dreams, but what about us? Show me, you're willing to fight, that I'm still, the love of your life..." But it's the last half of the song (lyrics above) that I am slowly realizing as my mantra for Trinity and the school that I have found myself to be in charge of. Its a daunting and terrifying task - these children put so much faith in me, as their teacher, to do what's right by them. The only way that I can do that is through God the Father, leading me, showing me the right way... because the truth is that I don't have experience in being an administrator. I have teaching experience, and a masters degree, but nothing that would adequately prepare me for this phase of my life.... Oh Father, give me the strength, to be everything I'm called to be... This is what my prayer has been most... please Lord, give me the strength to do this task You have asked of me.

I am their leader, their director, the person with whom they trust their education... I'm also their friend, their confidant, their disciplinarian. To some, I'm the closest thing to a mom, to others, a sister, even more, their friend. The leaders in education say that you aren't supposed to get that close to your students, you aren't supposed to have a relationship with them beyond teacher and student. I've found that there is great joy in watching these students grow and learn, mature. Some I've seen through three years, and by the time they graduate, I will have been their teacher for five years. That gives me a tremendous capability to strengthen them individually, because I know in which areas they struggle. We are able to grow closer as brothers and sisters in Christ because there isn't a process of adjustment. How lucky am I that I'm able to share that with them?

As my year at Trinity draws to a close - who can believe that? - my prayer remains:

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?