Tuesday, October 9, 2007

...been awhile...

So, its been awhile. Spent alot of time "blogging" on myspace, and so I suppose I should get back to my regular blogspot. I had to go to the ER on Sunday night. Kind of scary. Apparently I had an allergic reaction to some kind of something or other and I swelled up like a puffer fish. Didn't quite get to the whole shock part -- you know the whole not-breathing thing, but I did sort of resemble a walking whelp, which definitely wasn't the most exciting way that I wanted to spend my Sunday night. And I'm not too fond of the whole IV thing either. At least this experience solidified me not wanting to be in the medical profession... EVER, so that's a positive I suppose. And I'm going to be visiting an allergist... I know all of you were concerned about that. But I am going, sometime at the end of this month. So we'll see.

Hm. What else? I've applied to participate in ACMNP again. For those un-aware, ACMNP and their placement of me in the Grand Canyon in 2005 began this whole blogspot fun-ness. I'm hoping that they will keep me somewhere on the East Coast (I'm thinking Shenandoah, Smokey's on either side or the Blue Ridge Parkway) but I'll go wherever they need me. It'd be amazing to spend the summer in the Tetons. Anyways. We'll see where that goes... if I'm even accepted.

I'm working on a new "creative endeavor"... I was watching this movie tonight (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants... loved the books) and the girls are seventeen and I got to thinking about me at seventeen. I have no doubt that I didn't think that seventeen was perfect when I was actually seventeen, but it was a pretty perfect age for me. I had amazing friends, a pretty decent boyfriend until he dumped me before Thanksgiving (thanks Bran) and a wickedly awesome senior class schedule. I had been accepted to Auburn University (on December 5th, yes I remember the exact day I had been accepted) and was super excited about attending the most fabulous university (for me) on the planet. So anyway, back to my "creative endeavor"... seventeen was pretty perfect, as far as ages go. So here's a little blip from that endeavor...

"Sometimes I wish that I could go back to seventeen. At seventeen I was a senior in high school, and the most pain I had felt was physical, when I was twelve and had my head split open by a run-away softball. At seventeen, I had yet to feel heartbreak. Sometimes I wish I could go back to seventeen and do it all over again. Senior year of high school, probably the best year of my high school career, the only one worth remembering. Senior year meant graduation, but it wasn’t just that. It was a year of lasts of course, but also of firsts.

Seventeen was before heartbreak, before college, before leaving this town behind me in the dust as I drove away on that Sunday a week before classes started. Seventeen was on the cusp of legal adulthood, just old enough but not nearly. Seventeen was perfect.

Nineteen was the year my heart was broken. It was not perfect.

Eighteen, the year before had been just all right, still in that planning stages of before-college, but not quite there yet. My first semester in college was spent at eighteen.

Sixteen was okay too… but I was just a sophomore, just a baby really. I had was coming out of a fog of losing friends, people who I believed, in that naïveté of sixteen, that we would be best friends for life. My how that pattern would continue to haunt me.

And then sometimes I wish I could skip twenty all together. Just wipe that year out of my head, out of my memory. Just forget everything that happened, everything that I did. I was stupid at twenty.
Twenty-one was a little strange. I don’t remember much about being twenty-one and that’s not because the year was spent in a drunken haze… it wasn’t. By that time I had let go of the mini-rebellion that had plagued my latter-half of eighteen. But still, I don’t remember twenty-one all that well. I remember being dropped from the Rose Court, and the old familiar naïveté that haunted me that year as it reared its ugly head. And I remember spending many nights at Wendy’s apartment, cooking out and having a grand time. Twenty-one was when Robert pledged Pi Kapp, and I do remember being propositioned by him a number of times, usually when the intoxication had hit another record high. And I remember being scared to death one night when Vince called me to pick him up from the fraternity house at 3:00 in the morning because Robert, in his drunken wisdom had decided it would be a good idea to strip almost naked and spend the night on the love-seat in the hall. Having seen the amount of drunkenness take place on that couch, I couldn’t let that happen and so off I went to the fraternity house where I had spent so many hours of my college career, in pajama pants, a sweatshirt and flip flops. I wouldn’t dare go without shoes. That would have been stupid, and while I had been stupid at twenty, I was not at twenty-one."


Anyways so it probably won't develop but the idea kind of intrigued me a little bit. It's not holding my interest though to develop anything further, because it doesn't really have a point to it or anything. Just something to hold my interest for half a second before my mind bops along to the next thing.

happy reading the novella I just posted. see ya.

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