It's been almost a year since Carter's tragic death and I'm reposting my original post (via myspace). The comments are still valid, for the most part and the advice still solid. So, with that in mind, here goes:
I've been thinking lately how short and precious life is. It can be over in the drop of a hat, in the blink of an eye. There's a Phil Vassar song that talks about how fragile life is, and how in a moment they can be gone. The anniversary of Carter's death is rapidly approaching a year, and there are people who I've known in my short life who have passed on, recently and since the current posting of this blog this is the best advice I know to give.
I wonder what kind of unfinished business do we have on Earth. Do we tell the people we love them when we want to, no matter who they are or what pains they have inflicted? Someone said to me once that nobody could stop him from telling someone that he loved them. Do we realize that life, so precious and short, can be gone in a moment's time? Sure, maybe. But, if we realize that fact, then how does that affect our lives? Have we, in our individual lives, become too complacent and content, believing that we have all the time in the world and forgetting that there's always that chance, that possibility that you may not live to see tomorrow. Do we believe that we have all the time to tell that person that we love them or call up your old boyfriend from high school and tell them how you feel? And then I got to thinking... if I were to die today, what kind of unfinished business would I leave behind?
Who would I call, and what would I say to them?
Who would regret their own unfinished business with me?
Would Josh finally forgive me and put the past behind him, or would he lay a layer of guilt over the old argument over the fact that he's held out this long and he never gave into letting the grudge go? Would Kenil have been sorry that he's never come back and told me what happened? And what about those others that I have unfinished business with or them with me? If you knew you were going to die tomorrow... what would you say, who would you call?
Life is so incredibly short. It really is. We should live it to the fullest possible degree because it can, guys, be over in the blink of an eye. In a split second. We should live joyously, drunkenly aware of how short a time we have here on this Earth. Embrace every experience, try new things... kiss that guy for heaven's sake if that's what you want to do. Date who you want to... regardless of counter opinion. Do what's right for you. You can't be scared of life... of afraid of what's around every corner. You can't be scared of getting hurt, of living truly the way you want to and being the person you want to be. Don't put anything off... don't say "well tomorrow I'll do this, or I'll do that next week. I'll save this dress to wear for Christmas" or "that can keep until Spring." Clothes are meant to be worn, not hung in a closet in a place of honor.
Dreams are meant to be lived out, not just in the fantasy world but in reality. Do it.
But the biggest thing... oh, the biggest piece of advice I can give anyone reading this is to forgive those who have hurt you. Carrying around that kind of burden only weighs you down, not them. And tell people you love that you love them. Let go of old grudges. Keep everything that's important to you, letters... emails... old rose petals from past boyfriends. Throw away things that you don't care about.
Be happy in everything that you do... and always do things with happiness in your heart. By God, don't be afraid of love and don't begrudge heartbreak either. Both love and heartbreak make your heart stronger for the right person. Love, and loss, are a part of life, no matter in what form they come. Learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them, but if you must, repeat with daring. Don't worry so much about being hurt in a relationship; the ironic thing is that a person who is afraid of getting hurt usually winds up being hurt more after they tried so hard not to be.
Surround yourself with people you care about; people who are good for you and won't cause you harm. Live every day. Let there be no regrets. And don't leave this world with unfinished business.
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