In this venture of Trinity School, I have really learned to take my worries to the Cross and lay them at His feet. Because, 1) I know that as a child of the King, He has already prepared my way. He knew long before Brooke Bowden was ever thought into existence that she would found and run a school, and that January of 2011 would be the toughest month financially for that tiny school. and 2) worrying about everything is sort of how I got through my teenage years and into college... I worried about my sister, Rebecca, when I moved to Auburn. She slept in my bed with me from the time she was itty bitty until I went the 30 miles to school. How would she fare, now that her big sister had left for college? I was the oldest, and worrying was like 2nd nature to me. I worried about Brady when he was going through his hip problems; I worried that he would stay in the cast for longer than we were told, that he would be made fun of, that he wouldn't adjust, etc. etc. I worried about all of them when they got ready to give their 8th grade speeches, when Rebecca would call me on a Sunday night while I was a freshman at Auburn and tell me how upset she was because Mom had made her mad. I remember sitting in my car, in the parking lot of Leischuck, listening to Rebecca wail through tears. I was helpless to do anything, because I was 30 miles away and couldn't run to her. I worried about my friends in college, the brothers of Pi Kapp when they indulged in too many "adult beverages" - how would they get home, did I need to drive them, take away their keys, where would they be sleeping that night (and praying it wasn't in a ditch or in a jail cell). I worried about staying in the college of Education or finally transferring out, changing to English and abandoning my goal of teaching elementary education - 1st grade, to be exact. I worried about everything. That was just up through college - that doesn't even include worries about my personal life...
But that's one thing that I think I've done pretty well at so far in this adventure... really discovering what God's purpose is for me (even though He told me that I would do great things for Him), having Him present you with the opportunity, give you the knowledge to make it happen, and then continually, every day, show you that He is in absolute control. I don't know why I still am amazed at when I add up the deposits and the payroll subtractions that we come out ahead - not negative as I had thought would be the case, but actually with dollars to spare.
God is so amazing. In my weakness as a human, I fail to acknowledge that even though on the outside I try not to show the appearance that I'm worried - because really, I'm not - somedays, the little wiggles of doubt creep into my mind and I panic, and freak out and wonder will we make it this month. I absolutely LOVE IT when God drops a bomb in my lap - like, come on Brooke, why did you ever doubt me? And I can't say that I have doubted Him... because in reality, I know beyond a doubt that everything is going to turn out okay with Trinity. Its going to be better than "okay" because this is a God-venture. It isn't something that I, Brooke Bowden, thought of and created all on my own. God put it into my head, He gave me the vision.
I'm just the vessel to do His work.
January is going to be tight. But once again this teeny tiny school lives on to fight the battle for Christ another day. I pray that I never stop growing amazed at what He does in the life of this school.
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