High School Blues

Tonight, my old friends from high school... the ones who I laughed with, played with, cried with, drank with, ate with and partied with, excluded me from a reuinion at Chef Lees, where we spent a great amount of time during my senior/their junior year. Everyone from our little group will be there. Kenil. Josh. Sam and his wife. Toby. The last four I haven't seen in eight years.

I wasn't invited. Well, actually, thats not accurate. One of my dearest and oldest friends, Kenil, actually had the gumption and the balls to ask if I could come, for which I will always be appreciative. He was told "umm... ahh... egh... well... um... I don't think Meagan would be totally comfortable with that." Meagan is Sam's wife, who, by the way, I have never met, but has managed to hold a grudge against me because I was (once upon a time, almost ten years ago) friends with her husband. Friends with him. Not dated him, not had a crush on him, not anything but was friends with him.

Okay sure. I can't see my friends from high school, the people who meant the world to me then and who I have some of the greatest memories of, I'm not allowed to see because Sam's wife doesn't like me.

Does anyone else see a problem with that? Or maybe its just me.I know that high school is in the past but when the past is keeping me from enjoying an evening with my old friends... isn't that a little, well, crazy? I just think its wrong that a woman who I've never met, never even had a conversation with, somehow has this power over this group of people, who were some of the most important people in my life.

It hurts my feelings. Oh, sure, I know that it probably shouldn't. I should probably get over it. I mean, afterall, I caused all of this mess eight years ago... and maybe I shouldn't let it bother me. But as long as I'm excluded from a group of people who meant the world to me, I don't think thats going to happen. Its going to bother me, because its wrong, on many levels.

I miss them. I miss Sam and how he used to carry my backpack for me, and how we talked about our siblings and being the oldest. I miss Toby and how he was so goofy and funny and had a comment for everything. I miss Kenil, even though I see and talk to him, because he's in New York being all doctor-ey and I don't get to see him often. And I miss Josh, because Josh was my best friend. I miss his conversations and his laughter and his eyes. And how he knew I was upset by looking at my face, and being on the outside of them and their group is upsetting, quite honestly. They were a fantastic, amazing group of friends and I am lucky to have had them in my life.

So here's to you guys, even though I can't be there with you.
Thanks for everything.Much love,~Brooke