Okay guys, so there I was, just browsing around on the Facebook when I came upon this guy's profile thing that I had met years ago and a St. Patrick's Luau. On his wall was a message, posted by this student from Oklahoma. It's the following....
"What is Auburn Football?
It is the 1/2 national championship in 113 years of playing football
It is sharing a mascot with numerous junior high and pee-wee football teams
It is the smile on Ben Leard's face after throwing an interception that lost the 1998 Virginia game
It is the feeling of anticipation during the walk down Wire Road from your trailer to "The Jungle"
It is having a cute little nickname like "The Jungle" for Jordan-Hare
It is putting up a banner for losing the tie-breaker for the Western Division title
It is throwing a parade for finishing second Again, it is throwing a parade for finishing second
It is and always will be about "Keep it down home, cuz"
It is about having a cute slogan like "AttitUde" or "AUdacity" in order to fire up your fans
It is the hope that one day; Auburn will win a national title without sharing it or being on probation.
It is knowing that if the Tigers finish second, it will be OK because they will throw a parade anyway
It is living up to every stereotype about Auburn by letting the players ride on hay bails during that "victory" parade
It is accepting the National Title from the only person who will give it to Auburn, a 16 year old kid with an AOL account
It is Terry Bowden
It is Eric Ramsey
It is having a head coach who used to cook catfish for a living
It is Napoleon Syndrome
It is Little Brother Syndrome
It is the Red Headed Step Child Syndrome
It is believing 2 Heisman Trophies = 2 National Championships
It is knowing that only one other school in the NCAA has been put on probation more times
It is using Toilet Paper to celebrate a victory and wondering why the world treats Auburn like No. 2
It is canceling the Florida State game a month before the season
It is calling the 1989 Alabama game "The Mountain Top," instead of using that title for a championship game
It is yelling "Punt Bama, Punt" 30 years after that chant outlived its cleverness
It is having a runningback who couldn't pass a third grade English test
It is constantly correcting people that Auburn is in Alabama, not Georgia
It is drawing national attention as a barn burns down next to the stadium during the LSU game It is having a bovine research center less than a mile away from the football stadium
It is the look on Terry Bowden's face as he's about to pass out at the Flora-Bama
It is the plane ride to Louisville
It is having the same amount of SEC championships as Georgia Tech, who left the SEC 40 years ago
It is knowing that you'll never have the prestige and tradition that BAMA has
It is 1/2 National Championship to BAMA's 12 National Championships
It is 6 SEC Championships to BAMA's 21
It is having the sixth best winning percentage in the SEC
It is "Wrong Way Bo"
It is Pat Dye going for the Tie instead of the win in the Sugar Bowl
It is the probations
It is the trailers
It is the cows.....
IT IS AUBURN FOOTBALL!!!"
Let me tell you what I think about all of that. First of all, I would expect it from a Bama fan, as the in-state rivalry is pretty heated around this time of the year. It would be funny if it came from a Bama fan. Secondly, most of it's true... we do have a bovine research facility a mile down the road from our football stadium, we were on probation, there are a great many trailers and cows and yes, we've had our fair share of mistakes and screwups in the past. But let me point out, if we didn't have the cows, or the bovine research facility or the vet school... if we didn't have all of those things which make our university academically great then Mr. Oklahoma doesn't have food and he sure can't take his injured horse to our large animal facility. Those same cows and hicks that are so eloquently put down in the above diatribe are the very ones who feed his scrawny body and take care of his animals. What I take offense to is the fact that this was published by AN OKLAHOMA STUDENT. The same Oklahoma who lost the National Championship in the first quarter... the same OK who shouldn't have even been ALLOWED on the same PLAYING field as USC... The same Oklahoma who has an entire facebook group named after them "How do you spell CHOKE --OK!!".
At least our mascot isn't a Fighting Illini (sp?) or a Horned Toad. I mean damn, at least we've got something more respectable than a Sooner for Crissake. Isn't a Sooner a boat? No wait, that's a SCHOONER. My bad. I can't imagine how I made that mistake. At least we belong to a conference that's worth a damn. The SEC... I don't care if we do have the same about of SEC Championships as Georgia Tech. I'd rather be in the same league running with Georgia Tech and Florida State and Miami than Oklahoma. And my running back may not could have passed a 3rd grade reading test -- but I bet you about 20 bucks he's making more than I do. At least we have a sense of family and respect for each other. We may not like it when Bama or Tennessee or UGA wins, but at least it makes the SEC look good.
I love my university... my college.. my friends, my faculty, my staff. I love my traditions, my athletes, my colors, my mascot and my fight song. You can't change my mind. I was an Auburn fan during the Dye years... the Bowden years... the inbetween years.. the AUttidude, AUesome, AUdacity and Tubberville... and I'll continue to be an Auburn fan. I don't care if we don't win a game for the next twenty years. It goes much deeper than winning and losing. I'll be an Auburn fan til I die. And I'll be dealing with idiotic, insipid retards like the one who made the misfortune of posting the above vomit just like I have all of my life. With a laugh, a smile and the quiet innerworkings of a woman scorned. Don't mess with my team. Don't make statements you can't back and (and losing the Nat'l Championship by a score of so much to not even close isn't backing up your statements) don't tell me that my school is little more than a cow college. I'll agree with you -- and then take away the benefits that my university brings to this region and this country.
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