Day 1, down.

The Trinity School launched today. All in all, it was a success. I don't think there were any major problems and I feel like the three hours were successful ones. I really like what we stand for, the mission statement, goals. Listening to Aubrey read them out, share them with our students, go over them and their importance, I could feel God's presence already in this place and know that it was Him speaking through me to create this place where these children will learn more about Him, learn to walk in Him, follow His plan... I'm grow more excited every day that I immerse myself in this venture.

Even though I feel like my emotions are so close to the surface, I know thats just the result of the past six months of work and pressure all coming to a rise today at 9am when The Trinity School held its first chapel service and met in its first classes.

As my Aunt Sharon reminded me in her voicemail, God has already come before me and prepared this ministry. He gives me knowledge of things that I have no knowledge of. He fills me with information about educational leadership that I couldn't possibly know nothing about. He is clearing the path for this tremendous ministry, which I believe will have such an impact on the community around us.

Here are some pictures of the remodeling and finished product. I have more... somewhere.

Tomorrow is the first day of school.

Exactly 13 days ago construction and remodeling work began on the Carriage drive house, which would turn into the Trinity School House.

Tonight, my mom, dad and I, along with Mark and his son Jake, moved in two tables and 10 chairs into the Trinity School House.

It's finished. Well, almost. There are a few minor things; like the electrician is coming at 7:30am to finish hooking up the appliances, and the windows are ordered, but not in yet, but other than that, the house is done. Isn't that amazing? I owe glory to God for getting it done, because I know that He is the only way that made it happen.

I wish that I could be that person who says they never doubted it for a minute, but its not true. There were times, and moments, when I wondered if we would be in on time, where we would go if we weren't... but I have to say that those thoughts were so few and far between because I knew from the beginning that God's hand was on this venture.

Even though some days I feel like I'm drowning in everything that I feel like I have to do, I know that I'm treading water. As long as I can keep my head above, it'll be alright. This school is going to flourish, because I can see God all over it. He got us in the house on time, He's providing the students, the teachers... all of it, everything. Why did I ever doubt him?

And from that, why do His children doubt him? He's all knowing, all powerful... the omniscentness of God is that He is everywhere. And what's more, is that He is in absolute control. He blesses His children; if He closes a door, somewhere he opens a window for you to climb through.

It was never my intention to leave Veritas after 2.5 years. I had every plan of seeing through my current 10th graders through to graduation. Thats the thing about making plans though ~ God had something different for me. And so Trinity was born...

Tomorrow's going to be a great day.

The Trinity School

About three months ago I took a big, gigantic leap and jumped off of a cliff. Fortunately, the cliff has a ledge and there I sit, precariously teetering on the edge between failure, and success.

My school launches in three days. Yep. MY SCHOOL. A school that I've dreamed of starting for awhile now, but only realized it three months ago. But I believe that its been something thats been working on me for longer than that - even before I was called to teach. You see, I knew that I wanted to teach in middle school. I started my journeys in the education world in the 12th grade, observing, teaching 1st graders at Brookstone (those kids are now seniors, can you believe it?), and I'm starting my 3rd official year (although I think that half a year as Monica's aide at Veritas and half a year student teaching should count for something, so lets make it 4 years) as a teacher and what's more, is that I'm starting it at my own school.

The name "Trinity" was born out of a deep love for all things associated with Ireland. Fortunately for me, it also works nicely into the Christian worldview I will be teaching from. The Celtic knot and Trinity cross have fascinated me and I love the idea of what all the Trinity represents (both in Christianity and in Celtic Ireland). I like three's. I've been told that things happen in three's; its a good number in writing (you have to have three main points to write paragraphs on), its representative of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost (3) and in Ireland, the number three represents their own trinity; because its shaped, somewhat, like a shamrock.

Faith. Hope. Love (3).

So when I started thinking up logos and names, I came up with The Trinity School, because it rolled off the tongue a little better than Trinity Academy (I also thought that TTS would sound better for a boarding school, than an "academy" would, more on that at another time). The Celtic cross (see, I warned you about this obsession with Irish lore), is also a favorite of mine so I began to play with ideas and what I came up with is a combination of the Trinity knot & the Celtic Cross. See? There it is. Once we got the paperwork done and completed, Trinity became "real" on August 4, 2010.

I think people expect me to be terrified, or scared, especially when the find out that not only did I leave my job in an economic downfall such as now, but that I've also ventured out on my own to start a school, that has my name on it, my money invested (read that: Brooke's money. Not anyone else's), my hard work, blood, sweat, and tears. I think that the reaction should be absolute terror, but if its one thing I've learned this summer more than anything else is: My God takes care of me. He gives me the knowledge of what and how to do, even before I know to ask the questions. He has provided me with a house to live and work in, ten fantastic students whom I've worked with in the past, two brand new students that I am super excited to have the opportunity to work with, the confidence of some of the people I respect the most (because they believe I can do this), and He is guiding every step of this adventure.

He doesn't promise that its always going to be fun, or easy... or that there won't be hard times or struggles (personal, or professional), but He does tell me to make my wants and desires known to Him and that He will provide... which He has done and will continue to do.

And I'm just along for the ride... God is going to do some amazing things through Trinity. And I am SO excited to see what He has in store for, not only me, but the future of this awesome school.

So stay tuned, because I'm sure it'll be one wild ride!

~Brooke

Health Care Reform

I don't like politics. I am a one-issue voter; I freely admit to that. And I'd be happy to share my one-issue with anyone who asks. But my dad sent me this link (at bottom). I don't know if it was dubbed, or sliced, or anything like that. But I do know that the health care reform bill scares me ~ I've always been taught to work for what I wanted in life. It’s how I was raised. I like to have a choice in who my doctors are. I usually go to people I trust; doctors I've heard about either via reputation or previous experience. I want to be able to have a chance at surviving breast cancer, skin cancer, or whatever other sickness that may come my way and I'm afraid that if my heath care rights are taken away because the percentage of Americans who cannot afford health care (I believe Congressman Rogers quoted 15%?), just because its "not fair" for them. Quite frankly, that’s a load of crap. I grew up in a household where we weren't given things ~ my siblings and I worked for them by doing our "job" well (which, at the time, was our education). I grew up in a privileged household. I freely admit to that, but was taught to appreciate hard work and that the important things in life shouldn't be just "given" to you because you "deserve" them, but because you've worked for them. Its the same principle behind winning by forfeit in a baseball game - sure, you won and its a W in the books, but did you really deserve the win? Same principle as if you cheat on a test or homework. Sure, you might get a good grade and not get caught or get a zero, but at what loss to your sense of self, personal well-being?

What are we teaching the youth of America (and I know - because I DO teach the Youth of America) - that it's okay to accept and give hand outs because someone's life isn't fair? Because they've had a run of bad luck, or turned to drugs/alcohol, or just because they're lazy? I have students who have crappy home lives. They come to me from all walks of life and I’m supposed to tell them that they have to actually put forth effort for what they want in life when it could be just given to them in the “real world?” No.

And I know that many of my friends are democrats; I find no fault in your politics ~ we live in America and are given the right to our own beliefs (because of the men and women who fight/have fought for us to have those rights)

I'm not saying that our current health care situation is ideal and perfect; clearly its not. And admittedly, I don't follow politics enough to have an understanding of the situation. And while I have degrees in English, a masters in English Education & working towards a masters in English lit ~ I don't speak "politics" so I have a hard time understanding all of the politicsese so I googled the health care reform bill & found a breakdown of it in regular language. I don't know where it came from, or if it’s correct, or what.

I do know one thing. What Congressman Rogers says in this clip about the health care reform bill scares me. The government is messed up – there’s a lot going on that I’m not overall thrilled with. I pay taxes, I voted. And it seems to me, that putting the government in charge of health care would possibly make the standards of health care weakened. The government isn’t able to control illegal aliens entering the country (trust me – I’m all for immigration, but I believe there are proper channels that a person should go through), they aren’t able to control spending (clearly the trillion dollar debt we’re in and the failed government bailout program are examples of this), why on earth would anyone think that they are able to control health care? And, last time I checked the United States of America was founded on the principles of the government being OF the people, BY the people and FOR the people – perhaps those who are elected should listen to what the people want?


http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=G44NCvNDLfc
http://www.naturalnews.com/026733_health_health_care_healthcare.html
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2300451/posts

Mutiny! Mutiny!

Last Friday the 7th graders held a mutiny. Their goal: to "discuss their concerns with me about their treatment in class." We discussed it... they don't understand that they can't be treated like 10th graders, because they don't act like 10th graders. They're 7th graders... they act like insecure, immature, 7th graders.

Well. Today, I discovered that the 8th grade is following the 7th grade's lead and also wants to "discuss their concerns" -- just one question: when did I become the hated teacher? For the first time in my teaching career, I had the thought of "I hate my job." Which is wrong; because I can truly say that I love my job. All aspects about it ~ even the parents & the psycho kids. But this... all I can think is it must be something wrong with me. Something that I'm not doing right... something that is making all of this to happen. Short of walking away in the middle of the year - I don't know what to do. I dread teaching the 7th graders for the next half-year. Dread it. I never wanted to be in this position and I can't get anyone to understand what I'm dealing with. I literally feel lost, and drowning. I'm treading water, barely keeping my head above water.

I feel like, personally, I've failed them. All of them. 7th, 8th, 9th... 10th... All of them.

Another Monday is upon us and I'm still overwhelmed... not as much as last week, though I'm not sure why. Something has to give with this masters program, because its kicking my tail. At this point I'm less certain that this is the route I want to go, and yet, at the same time, I know its what I want to do. There's a possibility of coming back to Auburn and being inside an actual classroom (as opposed to online)... maybe I'm one of those people who can't get it together online. I know I've got alot on my plate, though I'd never admit it to anyone and I'm suprised when anyone notices. Taking on more responsibility at work for the same amount of pay - I keep thinking that there will be some kind of reward... maybe not financially, but definintly morally? The boy situation is still up in the air - not really sure what's going on there but I know that he recognizes what all is on Brooke's shoulders - a fact which suprises me because he noticed. Not really sure why, but it does. I've added to his letter... contemplating whether or not to give it to him, as it opens up a part of me that somedays I'd rather left unsaid, but at the same time, I know thats the product of fear talking about I don't want to be that way.

Sam resurfaced briefly, which only induced more feelings of irrational anger & failure.

On top of that, my internet went out Saturday and won't be fixed for three days... which means that I'm stuck doing my assignment (due tonight) either at school, or the library or somewhere else...

... my head hurts.

I'm growing increasingly overwhelmed as I head into this next week. I've started a online masters program and I'm worried that I'm a) too far removed from being in school that I'm out of practice and b) that I'm in over my head. I have four ball games... Monday, Tuesday & Thursday nights. My assignment for the last week is due by Monday at midnight. On top of that I have 40 lesson plans due for the week, teaching full time & the other responsibilities & obligations that my students require. On top of that, there's so much going on in my head that its hard to pin everything down. So many thoughts from Sam and the sense of failure that I have with him. I still wish I could wring his neck for putting us through that. I wish that I had been here when he came by that last time. I wish that he felt that I had cared about him enough to be there and support him when he was in his darkest hour. I feel like, as his friend, I failed him. Its combined with the continual failure as Josh's friend ~ what crappy decisions I made so many years ago continue to haunt me. I know that I should let it go, but there's something in me that isn't geared to do so. I can't stop thinking about him - about what he's doing, about his friendship, about how I am not allowed to see my friends because of Meghan and her irrational hatred of me... why must people act like that? And, more importantly, why do I give a crap?

Then this thing with this boy... God, that probably works on my mind the most. So many thoughts & questions - the why's and wherefore's and what-the-hells... I can't get a read on him. I don't know what he's thinking. I know what he's thought in the past - all the way back ten years or so. But what he thinks now? I got nothing.

On the upside of things ~ Brandon comes home in February and I cannot wait to see him. Its been 2.5 years (it'll be 3 by the time he comes home) and we haven't ever gone without seeing each other for that long. I mean I know we're just friends, but he's one of my best friends. I miss him. I can't wait to see him. He'll be home for a little while & then off to his 2nd placement. Hopefully this time a little closer to home than in Japan.